


Explanations

by Fenchurch87



Series: The Eye of the Storm [9]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Internal Conflict, Storm Coast (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 03:32:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15940916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fenchurch87/pseuds/Fenchurch87
Summary: Blackwall attempts to come clean about his past and explain why he can't be with Eve Trevelyan. Things... don't go according to plan. Originally written in response to a writing prompt on /r/dragonage.





	Explanations

“This is the place.” He stepped out of the forest and into the clearing. “I came here with another Warden. We were ambushed.” He could still see the dark, twisted shapes advancing on him, could still hear their howls of rage and anguish as they fell. That rock over there, that was where– “I tried to save him. But he died.”

“I'm sorry.” Eve laid a hand on his arm. He could barely feel her touch through his armour, but it was comforting nonetheless. Her presence always calmed him. It brought him a peace that he knew he didn't deserve.

“I had seen death before of course. But his was different. It changed me.” He walked further into the clearing, Eve beside him. That was his opening. All he had to do was continue. Explain who he had been before he had met the Warden. Explain what he really was. But the words stuck in his throat.

“What's that?” Eve asked, pointing to something on the ground.

The glint of metal caught his attention, and he knelt down to retrieve the object from the grass. He stared at the griffon sigil and tried desperately to blot out the memories that were suddenly swarming in his head.

“The Warden-Constable's badge,” he said, a heavy sigh escaping him as he picked it up and rose to his feet.

Eve peered at him curiously. “You mean your badge. Don't you?”

_No_ , he thought. _It's Blackwall's. The real Blackwall's._ But what he said was “Yes. I suppose it must be.”

_You coward._ He turned away so that she couldn't see the disgust and self-loathing in his face. “This was my life before I met you,” he said, gazing around the clearing. “Crumbling ruins. Endless battles. Death.”

He heard soft footsteps slowly approaching, and then the Inquisitor was standing in front of him. “You don't have to face those things alone,” she murmured.

“Nothing frightens you, does it?” He laughed fondly. He couldn't help it. She had seen enough death and destruction of her own, and yet here she was, wanting to share his. Her brilliant eyes held his gaze. They reminded him of amethysts today, shining fiercely in the bright mid-afternoon sun.

Standing there, with Eve by his side, he felt strong, stronger than he had ever felt before in his life. As long as she was with him, he felt as though he could do anything.

Except tell her the truth. That was the one thing he could never do, he knew that now. He couldn't bear the thought of losing this feeling, couldn't bear the thought of losing her.

“We should go back to Skyhold. There's nothing more for me here, and I– I have to think.”

She smiled and nodded, and he cursed himself for a gutless fool.

 


End file.
